Long Live Day of the Dead!
November 1st in Antidepressposts [ No Comments ]Life is too important to take seriously
~Oscar Wilde
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
~Steve Jobs
I love Day of the Dead. Not just because I love so many fabulous dead people and enjoy celebrating their lives, but because it is the only holiday that joyfully embraces the thing that gives any sense of meaning or urgency to this life. We are not around (in this form) forever so it makes sense to prioritize the people, places, thoughts, ideas, and activities we pay attention to, and find a way to liberate the rest.
Death is inevitable and important. Grief is devastating and necessary. And funerals are a fantastic ritual to expedite the process of release. That’s why for each of the past two years the Day of the Dead has marked the launch of Cemetery Mary’s funeral planning festivities where, with a group of talented actor/singers, we hijacked the ideas of holding a open casket funeral for the dead people, and used it as an event for the living to toss out the dead dreams, dashed hopes and disappointments that may mess with the ability to enjoy our days.
Funeral sing-alongs that offer people jazzy music plus a nice mahogany casket to symbolically release pain, woe, bitterness, suffering, anger, failure, and a full spectrum of nasty personal habits, can be very popular events. Many funeral guests said they got a glimpse at what it feels like to take life’s suffering a little less seriously, which then extended outside the service.
Personally, Cemetery Mary was enthusiastically hurling excess baggage into the casket. And, of course, what happens when we dump the junk? Lots of extra space opens in our lives makes room for lovely, miraculous new growth.
But we don’t need musical funeral events to take stock of what needs to be released each year. I’ve already started a collection of crap I don’t plan to drag into the New Year. I get a little cranky about aging, middle age anarchy of the uterous (ladies, I’m talking perimenopause), and the plummeting value of my real estate and retirement fund. But then I remember that those thoughts, ideas, and distractions get in the way of my good mood so I write them down, torch them (safely), and recite my favorite mantra:
Oh well.
We are always growing and molting simultaneously. Such is life (and death).
Best to let it all go.
If you want help to expedite this process, check out the essay questions below. Then take your written answers to a nice cemetery, bless your answers, set the paper on fire and do a happy dance.
If you are anything like the crowd at our funerals, this is how it will make you feel:
Rest in peace, love, and laughter whenever possible.
Essay Questions:
- What is growing and thriving in your life?
- Does it bring you joy, meaning, or satisfaction?
- If not, why not? Is there anything you can do to change this?
- What is dead or dying in your life?
- Are you ready to let it go?
- If not, list all of the ways it/he/she still serves you.
Here’s someone who gets the crap-into-compost philosophy of living. No matter what is going on in our lives, it can be reinterpreted in a loving way. Don’t believe me? 
Recently I was talking with a colleague and the phrase “I am my own worst enemy” popped into my head. Wait a second, I thought. What if I am my own best God?
On the eve of the production of Nothing Holding Me Back, Cemetery Mary informed me that her uncle, James Kavanaugh, had died the day before. I did not personally know him, but I recognized his name. He was an author, a former priest who blew away the secret veil surrounding the priesthood. And so after attending the program, I spent New Years Eve at my computer, researching who James Kavanaugh was. I was blown away by the writings I found on the Internet, just from a cursory Google search of his name. What I came to find was the answer to, What if I am my own best God? Because it seems that Dr. Kavanaugh had pondered a similar question throughout his storied life; while he was a priest, when he wrote the expose, A Modern Priest Looks At His Outdated Church, and when he continued his life after leaving the priesthood, got married and had a family. Reading his poetry opened a window to his soul for me, a window to humanity’s soul.
So, yes, I am my own best God. Not a reflection of anothers God, but my God, the God who serves me best, if only I listen to that spiritual voice that directs me, tells me to have faith, to follow my destiny, take responsibility for my actions, and stay aware of what I do and say. To distill all the passages about sowing and reaping, we do reap what we sow, listen to the quiet, persistent voice that tells you who you are.
Okay, so you missed it.
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005. What a tale of crap into compost.
looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Set limits. Decide how much time you can realistically spend with your beloved bloodline without resorting to alcohol, prescription meds, or violence—then stick to that length of time. If you have family relations that are difficult or painful, it may be better to keep the visit brief, ie: cocktails & crudités versus sharing a cabin in Tahoe for the week.
Consult an Expert. If none of these fabulous ideas can allow you to tolerate those who claim to love you, and those you claim to love, then get thee to the forgiveness expert. Here’s the one I love, because within her message is the one thing I know to be true: 
